Losing & Giving Up

Feeling lost and insecure

Realising that I have let go of not only one

But two or three closest persons

I held close to my heart.

I don’t want to be selfish anymore.

I don’t want to hold back what’s not mine.

I will give and entrust what is due to Him.

I realised I can’t hold any of them back.

I realised that whatever I do with my own strength and hands will fail.

I realised that I can neither stop anyone from leaving.

Nor should I try to keep pushing away the things I care the most.

Goodbye.... to all of you

And goodbye to myself,

The girl who try so hard to have it all

Who tries to possess what’s close to her

And what she thought was hers

I am now giving it all back to Him

And let Him make the choice

I surrender my friendships and relationships

To Him who deserves to be the Lord over these areas of my life

It hurts not knowing what will happen from now on

It hurts not knowing what I can have by my side anymore

It hurts not knowing what I can keep close to me

It hurts not knowing what is in my control

But I pray O God, that Your grace and mercy

Your love for me will be enough

To get me through each day

With each losses,

Help me see that I have something more to gain

Because each one has and will

Bring me closer to You.